While sitting in my little corner in the faculty room and taking my usual afternoon cup of coffee a couple of weeks ago, I overheard a student asking one of her favorite teachers in the sweetest, softest voice, "Miss, could you tell me the secret to happiness?" The teacher smiled her sweetest smile too and said that they need to set another date and sit down on that topic.
After almost a year of being in the teaching profession, I realized this: usually, the simple questions are the hardest to answer.
Her question piqued my idle brain's interest and lingered in my thoughts. I got my doodle book and started jotting down ideas. Who knows she might just ask me next, I thought to myself. And so after a few weeks of sitting cold in my doodle book, I finally managed to type it down...just in case that student would google it. ;)
If you want to be happy, you:
- Make an EXTRA effort to be stress-free. You can achieve this by following an efficient and effective time table. Trust me, superb time management skills can help improve your life more than you will ever know. Make sure you manage your time well, giving yourself time to unwind, socialize and be lazy without compromising time for work. Stress is inevitable but the way you handle stress is in your hands. So make sure stress does not take the better of you.
- Surround yourself with happy people. By virtue of the chameleon effect and the power of suggestibility, you act as how others around you act. So hang-out with happy people, and be contagiously happy with them!
- Avoid Grouches at all cost. Grouches are one of those toxic people who are negative, and who suck the fun out of everything like a black hole. They can be definite buzz kills.
- Keep happy thoughts within reach. As Peter Pan would always say, "think happy thoughts so you can fly." Once we entertain negative thoughts, we often ruminate on it and in turn intensify the negative energy. Not really very useful when we're trying to attract positive energy.
- Always see the glass as half-full. In relation to the item above, having a positive outlook in life allows us to see things in a rosier and more hopeful manner. In psychology, an interesting interaction between thoughts, actions and attitudes have been noted for many years now. Banking on the knowledge that thoughts become actions, which eventually become attitude, I would recommend having positive thoughts to end up with positive behaviors and positive attitudes. In this world of despair and chaos, the last thing we need is another negative thought.
- Every night before going to bed, make it a habit to list 3 things, no matter how small or mundane, that you are thankful for. The Bisy Backson in all of us often times forget that what really matters are the small things that we often take for granted. This is a good exercise so as not to forget just how blessed we are to be breathing.
- Reward yourself after accomplishing something, no matter how simple. Studies in Behaviorism show that rewards appear to be more effective than punishment. So instead of punishing yourself for failing to do a particular thing, why not treat yourself to happy food or to a trip to a spa after accomplishing something that consumed a lot of your time and energy? Every effort you give out deserves a pat in the back.
- Face the world with a smile. Flash a smile at random people and see what happens. More often than not, they'd flash a smile back. It is one of the things that make humans very interesting creatures. The upward contraction of your facial muscles somewhat signals your brain to be in a positive state. You can save yourself from the chemicals in cosmetics (not to mention the thousands of pesos you spend to purchase these) by flashing the most natural, charge-free accessory in the world - your megawatt smile.
- LAUGH. Besides smiles, laughters are also just as contagious. So give out as much genuine laughters as you can to share your positivity to others. Studies also show that laughing somehow alters you body chemistry by increasing your T-cells, which strengthens the immune system. Laughing has indeed a lot of benefits, besides making you look younger and more attractive.
- Turn your focus outwards. Focusing too much on yourself, especially when you're going through a bad time, will only make things worse for you - you might even end up being depressed. Sometimes all it takes is for you to look outside and concern yourself with other things besides yourself. Being pre-occupied with other things distracts you from your present agony.
- Think of people going through worse than you. If you feel like Atlas with the world all on your shoulders, just look outside your car and surely you'd see half-naked children on the streets, begging for food, and wishing they were in your position. When we get too consumed with ourselves and our problems - real or imagined - we tend to be oblivious to the many others who are going through so much worse than we are. By putting ourselves in their shoes, let alone being aware of their existence and their current plights, we realize just how lucky we are. This allows us to be grateful for what we have, instead of wallowing in our misery.
- Avoid toxic people! Besides the Grouches, there are still tons of other toxic personalities (like the Narcissist, the Demanding, the Downer, the Parasite, the User-friendly, etc) we should avoid to be happy and psychologically healthy.
- Go natural. When you get too upset or sad, sometimes facing the problem head on will only yield even more undesirable results. So what should you do then? Let nature give you your natural high. You could jog or do some physical activity that'll wake your body up and in turn release endorphins - our body's natural pain killer. You could also induce serotonin rush by taking a little of your favorite dessert.
- Once in a while, look at something beautiful. It could be a breathtaking view, a beautiful face, an artwork - anything and everything that will serve as reminders that no matter how much we are going through now, there are still a lot of more important reasons to live and be happy.
- Know your priorities - and commit to these. Material things can only do so much to make us happy. We have to keep in mind that only REAL PEOPLE can give us the genuine, sustainable happiness that we sometimes misguidedly seek elsewhere (in our work, our material possessions, the wrong people, etc.). So keep your priorities in check and make sure the one that sits on top is a breathing, thinking creature who loves you. :)
- Keep the kid in you alive. When I was a kid, I cannot recall a moment where I wasn't happy for a long time as there were just too many reasons to be happy! When I lost a tooth, there was the Tooth Fairy to look forward to. When I had to run errands and do boring chores instead of play, there was Santa Claus taking note of all the good deeds I did to look forward to at the end of the year. Happiness was very effortless - but years have faded the magic and education has demystified many of the things we believed in as kids. For some, being happy does not come as effortlessly as other people, and so we need to constantly keep the magic coming by not forgetting the kid within us all. The kid in us would effortlessly know how to be happy - the challenge would be how to keep the kid in us alive.
- Do something that will make someone else happy. Sometime this is all it takes.
- And ultimately, happiness is a CHOICE - so choose to be happy.
I hope that when someone gets down in the dumps, this can help them, and I can be happy.
