On Love, Forgiveness, & Happiness

I love the way God works. He knows there are times that I am kind of overwhelmed by some of his teachings, especially when they don't seem to make sense, or appear self-contradictory, but one thing continues to amaze me - how he is able to use instruments to remind us that His love for us is immense. Just when I am about to lose faith, He sends someone to remind me to look deeper, to stop overanalyzing things and to just trust what is inside my heart - that He loves me and would not give me challenges that I cannot handle. This vessel of enlightenment was in the form of a human priest. This priest reminded me of the basic lessons in life that matter the most - love, forgiveness and happiness. These are the things that we tend to overlook because they are too mundane and can sometimes be overrated cliches. 

So what were the things that I learned - or rather, relearned?

• HAPPINESS is a CHOICE and a SKILL that is meant to be SHARED. Choose to be happy by choosing to positively react to the same situation that an unhappy person would react to negatively. Learn how to be happy by changing your perspectives and by sharing your happiness.
• We CANNOT change people, but we can always change OURSELVES. If a person gets in your nerves or has a habit that is annoying to you, don't wait for that person to change, because he or she may never do so. Instead, change the way you see that person. Acceptance is the key. 
• MONEY is NOT always EVIL. It is what you do with money and what money can make you do that could be potentially evil. If you have money, be grateful for it and never waste it, because a lot are wishing they had that. If you do not have it yet, work hard. After all, God provides things for our enjoyment.
• In conflicts, it is NOT about the person, the work or the problem. It is about you, your attitudes towards and how you deal with the person, the work or the problem. 
• GOD LISTENS to our prayers and HE ANSWERS at the perfect time. If you've been praying and haven't been getting any "answers," be patient and look around you. Sometimes the answer may be in another form other than the one you specifically asked for. If still you feel He's been ignoring you, perhaps what you were asking for is not good for you - He has something better in store for you. Have faith, believe and soon enough you will get what is meant for you.
• HE who ANGERS you, CONTROLS you. And none of us wants to be controlled and manipulated so keep your cool and see the bigger picture. Take those precious two minutes to be rational and analyze the situation. Anger is often unreasonable and causes us to sin. Often the things we say and do when we are angry cannot be unsaid and undone. 
• When we FORGIVE, we FREE OURSELVES from the burden. Holding a grudge against someone is like punishing ourselves - we subject ourselves to carry the burden of getting hurt, getting angry, and committing sins along the way. Forgiving DOES NOT mean forgetting, does not mean going back to normal and does not mean the offender will not be punished. Forgiving is choosing to be happy. Forgive, let go and let God.  
• LOVING YOURSELF allows you to LOVE OTHERS, EXIST for others, and BE for others. One can't give what one does not have. You can only give love if you have it.
• HAKUNA MATA! "No worries for the rest of your days," is the battle cry of the two happiest animals in the world, Timon and Pumba. We will never run out of things to worry about so take every challenge as an opportunity to grow and be better versions of ourselves. Most of all, have faith. In the words of Saul or St. Paul, "God is faithful. He will not abandon you and allow you to be tried beyond your ability. He provides you a way out so you can stand up."
• PROBLEMS hidden underneath will remain a problem unless we confront them and find solutions for them. Do something different if you want different results. 
• The SECRET to HAPPINESS is that there is NO SECRET - you just choose it. It would be the happy people who will change the world and make it a better place.

Indeed, there is no stopping us from choosing to be happy, and making  other people happy. Of ten the reason why we get angry is because of our negative thoughts and our feeling of being disrespected. When we are angry, we usually refuse to listen and refuse to see the bigger picture. I challenge everyone now to join me in this voyage towards happiness. True, many of the items are easier said than done, but usually once we learn the skills needed to be truly loving and happy, love and happiness would usually come naturally. After all, I would like to believe that humans are, by nature, good. So let us beckon and nurture this natural goodness in each of us so that we can be happy people and make this world a better place. :)

My Koohday Thoughts

If I cannot be with you, then I will think of you. If I cannot love you perfectly, then I will love you the best way I can.

Storms and trials make us stronger, and when those times come and we forget what love is, here is something to remind us of this special love we share.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not boastful and proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not selfish, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Corinthians 13:4-7

 I cannot think of one single reason why I love you - I just do.

hand in hand, through good times and bad

These are my thoughts, and my prayer on our Koohday.

Life is like a Good Surf

"Padol, Padol! Sten Ap!"

When I had my first try in surfing not so long ago, I instatntly thought to myself: how can people love this? It's scary and tiring! 

It seemed pointless to paddle your ass out until you get to the break, wait for  big wave then paddle again, with all the possible effort you can muster, and when you feel that it's the perfect time, you stand and ride the wave. Not to mention, the sharp and spiny reef that was below us, which could mean major injuries should we get wiped out in wrong places! An extreme sport indeed.

I was like, "what?! How on earth are you supposed to know if it's the 'right time'?" And all the instructor could give me was a sly smile before saying, "you'll know it when it comes."

Right.

So there I was, paddling through, going against the current with all my might, occasionally pausing to catch my breath until my instructor, probably taking pity in my fruitless efforts, met me halfway and pulled the board the rest of the way. I felt that I gave it my all but I seemed to remain where I was, like I wasn't moving. That frustrated me a lot. When we reached the break, my instructor told me to hold on tight and get ready to stand when he tells me to. He said he'll catch a long wave for me so I can have a long ride as well. Convenient. This, I thought to myself, is probably what my P500 was for - so I can save myself from the exhausting 'paddle, paddle'. I was holding on tightly to the board for fear of the horror that lies on the sea bed in case I'd fall off, when I heard Mitz, my instructor for the hour, yell, "ready, ready!" 

Oops. 

I did not see that one coming so not surprisingly, I fell off and hit different parts of my body on the sea floor and on the surf board. So much for my first time. It took me a couple of times before I actually managed to balance my weight, stand up, and enjoy a long, refreshing ride on the wave.And that was when I realized why people would risk their lives for this--the thrill was indescribable! After that one successful ride, I did not stop until the hour was up and the instructors called it a day. I fell a couple of times more but those did not stop me from trying and trying. I went home exhausted with sore arms, legs, small cuts, a satisfied smile on my face, and a resolution to shape up with the hopes of taming the waves, sans instructor, in my next surf trip.

The main goal is to ride the wave. But before you can do that, you have to go through a grueling, tiring, sometimes humiliating, process of going against the current, reaching the break, and waiting there for the perfect moment to come, occasionally falling off and/or getting wiped out or simply missing your moment.

Wait--this process seems awfully familiar! It sounds a lot like life. 

I'm in a point in my life right now where I think I finally know what I really want in and out of life but is not entirely sure how to get there--most likely tell tale signs of quarter life crisis. I feel like I'm putting a lot of effort into doing a lot of things that might get me to where I want to be, but I'm almost always met with a lot of set backs, obstacles and the sneaky feeling that my efforts might be put to waste that keep me from really pursuing them. It darn feels like I'm doing so much but not moving forward at all! I'm feeling the familiar feeling of frustration reminiscent to the frustration when I gave myself sore muscles for paddling against the current but not feeling any progress. The only difference is that in life, it's not easy to just hire someone to meet you in the middle and pull you out of your misery. Most often, the saving-from-one's-misery part is a do-it-yourself thing.

And exactly why do we need to paddle our way through? The very first time I surfed, I didn't have the slightest idea what to expect when I got to the break. In life, even though I more or less have an idea what the outcome of my efforts would be, I still can't be so sure of it as the future is, and will remain to be, annoyingly uncertain. My Self-Enhacing Cognitions (SEC), or the "better" cognitions, tell me that my paddling efforts weren't futile at all, because if I wasn't paddling, the current would've taken me even further away from my goal. Ont he other hand, my Self-Defeating Cognitions (SDC), or the devil's advocate, rebuke that I am not prepared enough to paddle my way through and it would be so much easier to just give up, and put off paddling for a few more years until I'm "ready." What a buzz-kill, you SDC's!

And then the part where you have to wait for the "right time" comes. The operational definition of the "right time" seems very vague and subjective both in life and in surfing. In the latter's case, only a handful of previous experiences, and lots of bruises and wound collectively known as "battle scars," would make you expert at knowing when the right moment is, most of the time (as even pro surfers miscalculate and get wiped out every once in a while). In life, though, I think the only time we can say it's the right moment is when we are already in that moment. As to how long it would take for one to paddle and be in the right moment is an entirely different issue too. Some could already ride successfully after a few attempts, others need more time. Life, like surfing, is never easy. You need to be in tip-top shape, you need to balance, you need to have the courage to risk falling into the sharp reefs, and, most importantly, to have the will and vigor to go against the current and brave through the waves.

I guess the most important chunk of wisdom I could share from my whole surf experience is to enjoy every moment, whether it's the right moment or not. Let the battle scars remind us that we dared and we conquered. And after all, if we miss a right moment, another one is most likely already on its way, as the ocean never runs out of waves. 

My life-changing "very good nice" moment

Ready for Success?

In this graduation season, I would like to join the bandwagon by sharing my 22.75 year's worth of wisdom and some thoughts of other wiser people. So what exactly are the things you need for your journey to realizing your dreams? Here is my list.

WILLPOWER."If your mind can conceive it and your heart can believe it, then you can achieve it." This quote by the famous civil rights activist, Jesse Jackson, is one that is closest to my heart as this reminds me that ANYTHING is possible as long as you put your heart and soul to it. I have always been the self-driven, go-getter type of person and although I have yet to realize many of the things in my bucket list, I know that by taking to heart the advices great and wise people give as a cliche would get me somewhere.

GUTS! As they say, "no guts, no glory." This is definitely a no-brainer. You would never gain anything unless you risk something. Kinda scary - yes - but the results could be worth all that.

A PLAN - and many other alternative plans. "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Nothing can be worse than not knowing what to do next. Making plans gives your life a sense of direction, and allows you to be proactive as it lets you see the possible problems you may encounter along the way and the varied means on how you can deal with these. Remember, it is less stressful to anticipate and prepare for problems rather than to react to them there and then when it catches you off guard.

SOCIAL SUPPORT. "Friends will carry you where money won't go." Marget Walker reminds us of the value of people in our lives. Yes, friends, family, and an intimate, genuine social circle should be your pot of gold. Many may share your glory with you, but only people who genuinely care about you will be there when you are at your worst. Once you've found them, take care of them as you would a treasure. 

PRAYER. "Prayer does not change God, it changes him who prays," according to philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. Most of us have this very distorted perception of prayer as a pill or as a genie in a bottle, where we only pray if we are hurt or if we really want something. This should not only be made or given when you are at your worst and need someone or something to pull you out of your pit. This should be done regularly as part of a healthy and sincere practice - and never as a last resort when all else have failed. 

HUMILITY. "To be truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them." The French socio-political thinker, Charles Montesquieu, says it all. Confidence usually stems from one achievement to the next, but we should always remind ourselves to keep our feet flat on the ground. After all, we were not born knowing what we know now - we all started off somewhere. And in spite of everything that we've achieved, we must never forget where we came from and that there is still so much more that we don't know. Let us not wait for those painful and sometimes embarrassing "humbling experiences" that snap us back to reality - that no matter how great we've already become, we are, and can never be, perfect.

GRATITUDE. "Praise the bridge that carried you over." George Colman, through this quote, tells us to give credit to everyone who have helped you become who you are and be where you are. After all, no person is an island and no matter how much we think we achieved everything by ourselves, there is an inner strength within us which made us stand strong - and this strength comes from somewhere. So whoever your source of strength is - your bitter past, the bullies from your acne-infested high school life, your hopes for your family's future, your dog - make sure you thank them. There is no such thing as silent gratitude as it is still ingratitude. 

HAPPY THOUGHTS. "If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought." Peace advocate Mildred Ryder tells us to keep happy thoughts within reach. Remember, the law of attraction posits that you attract what you think - so think positive!:)

HEALTHY COMPETITION - not against others but against yourself. "It's about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before." San Francisco 49ers' Steve Young tells us to constantly challenge ourselves to be better than we already are. If we compare ourselves to other people, we will only be frustrated and jealous because there will really be people above us and below us so better compare yourself to your old self - and one day, you'll just be amazed at how much you've improved. 

BALANCE. "While all aspects of our life are important, without balance, you become addicted and like all addictions, you lose," Catherine Pulsifer shares. We should have a healthy mix of work and play if we want to be truly happy and satisfied with life. Too much work makes us detached from everything else, get easily disappointed, bitter, lonely and burned-out. It is vital to strike a balance. It also does not hurt to nurture and enhance many other areas in your life where you can compensate should you fail in one area.

FAITH. Have faith, not just in yourself but more importantly, in a Higher Being. It can be God, Allah, Ganesh, Buddha, Jehovah... What matters is there is Someone out there who can be your invisible hand. While it is true that having faith in yourself makes you do things, having faith in Him or Her, makes you do even greater things you never thought you could. 

COURAGE to face disappointment and failure. "We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated," poet Maya Angelou says. Courage allows us to fail and learn important lessons, and in that sense, we have not failed. Later in life, we are likely to regret more the things we did not do for fear of failure and rejection, than the things we did but failed. There is no greater agony than spending the rest of your life wondering "what if." 

To the graduates of 2011, KUDOS for commencing another chapter of your life! Have fun and have faith in filling the fresh pages of a new chapter that is about to enfold!:)

The Secret to Happiness

While sitting in my little corner in the faculty room and taking my usual afternoon cup of coffee a couple of weeks ago, I overheard a student asking one of her favorite teachers in the sweetest, softest voice, "Miss, could you tell me the secret to happiness?" The teacher smiled her sweetest smile too and said that they need to set another date and sit down on that topic.

After almost a year of being in the teaching profession, I realized this: usually, the simple questions are the hardest to answer.

Her question piqued my idle brain's interest and lingered in my thoughts. I got my doodle book and started jotting down ideas. Who knows she might just ask me next, I thought to myself. And so after a few weeks of sitting cold in my doodle book, I finally managed to type it down...just in case that student would google it. ;)

If you want to be happy, you:

• Make an EXTRA effort to be stress-free. You can achieve this by following an efficient and effective time table. Trust me, superb time management skills can help improve your life more than you will ever know. Make sure you manage your time well, giving yourself time to unwind, socialize and be lazy without compromising time for work. Stress is inevitable but the way you handle stress is in your hands. So make sure stress does not take the better of you.
• Surround yourself with happy people. By virtue of the chameleon effect and the power of suggestibility, you act as how others around you act. So hang-out with happy people, and be contagiously happy with them!
• Avoid Grouches at all cost. Grouches are one of those toxic people who are negative, and who suck the fun out of everything like a black hole. They can be definite buzz kills.
• Keep happy thoughts within reach. As Peter Pan would always say, "think happy thoughts so you can fly." Once we entertain negative thoughts, we often ruminate on it and in turn intensify the negative energy. Not really very useful when we're trying to attract positive energy.
• Always see the glass as half-full. In relation to the item above, having a positive outlook in life allows us to see things in a rosier and more hopeful manner. In psychology, an interesting interaction between thoughts, actions and attitudes have been noted for many years now. Banking on the knowledge that thoughts become actions, which eventually become attitude, I would recommend having positive thoughts to end up with positive behaviors and positive attitudes. In this world of despair and chaos, the last thing we need is another negative thought.
• Every night before going to bed, make it a habit to list 3 things, no matter how small or mundane, that you are thankful for. The Bisy Backson in all of us often times forget that what really matters are the small things that we often take for granted. This is a good exercise so as not to forget just how blessed we are to be breathing.
• Reward yourself after accomplishing something, no matter how simple. Studies in Behaviorism show that rewards appear to be more effective than punishment. So instead of punishing yourself for failing to do a particular thing, why not treat yourself to happy food or to a trip to a spa after accomplishing something that consumed a lot of your time and energy? Every effort you give out deserves a pat in the back.
• Face the world with a smile. Flash a smile at random people and see what happens. More often than not, they'd flash a smile back. It is one of the things that make humans very interesting creatures. The upward contraction of your facial muscles somewhat signals your brain to be in a positive state. You can save yourself from the chemicals in cosmetics (not to mention the thousands of pesos you spend to purchase these) by flashing the most natural, charge-free accessory in the world - your megawatt smile.
• LAUGH. Besides smiles, laughters are also just as contagious. So give out as much genuine laughters as you can to share your positivity to others. Studies also show that laughing somehow alters you body chemistry by increasing your T-cells, which strengthens the immune system. Laughing has indeed a lot of benefits, besides making you look younger and more attractive.
• Turn your focus outwards. Focusing too much on yourself, especially when you're going through a bad time, will only make things worse for you - you might even end up being depressed. Sometimes all it takes is for you to look outside and concern yourself with other things besides yourself. Being pre-occupied with other things distracts you from your present agony.
• Think of people going through worse than you. If you feel like Atlas with the world all on your shoulders, just look outside your car and surely you'd see half-naked children on the streets, begging for food, and wishing they were in your position. When we get too consumed with ourselves and our problems - real or imagined - we tend to be oblivious to the many others who are going through so much worse than we are. By putting ourselves in their shoes, let alone being aware of their existence and their current plights, we realize just how lucky we are. This allows us to be grateful for what we have, instead of wallowing in our misery.
• Avoid toxic people! Besides the Grouches, there are still tons of other toxic personalities (like the Narcissist, the Demanding, the Downer, the Parasite, the User-friendly, etc) we should avoid to be happy and psychologically healthy.
• Go natural. When you get too upset or sad, sometimes facing the problem head on will only yield even more undesirable results. So what should you do then? Let nature give you your natural high. You could jog or do some physical activity that'll wake your body up and in turn release endorphins - our body's natural pain killer. You could also induce serotonin rush by taking a little of your favorite dessert.
• Once in a while, look at something beautiful. It could be a breathtaking view, a beautiful face, an artwork - anything and everything that will serve as reminders that no matter how much we are going through now, there are still a lot of more important reasons to live and be happy.
• Know your priorities - and commit to these. Material things can only do so much to make us happy. We have to keep in mind that only REAL PEOPLE can give us the genuine, sustainable happiness that we sometimes misguidedly seek elsewhere (in our work, our material possessions, the wrong people, etc.). So keep your priorities in check and make sure the one that sits on top is a breathing, thinking creature who loves you. :)
• Keep the kid in you alive. When I was a kid, I cannot recall a moment where I wasn't happy for a long time as there were just too many reasons to be happy! When I lost a tooth, there was the Tooth Fairy to look forward to. When I had to run errands and do boring chores instead of play, there was Santa Claus taking note of all the good deeds I did to look forward to at the end of the year. Happiness was very effortless - but years have faded the magic and education has demystified many of the things we believed in as kids. For some, being happy does not come as effortlessly as other people, and so we need to constantly keep the magic coming by not forgetting the kid within us all. The kid in us would effortlessly know how to be happy - the challenge would be how to keep the kid in us alive.
• Do something that will make someone else happy. Sometime this is all it takes. 
• And ultimately, happiness is a CHOICE - so choose to be happy.

I hope that when someone gets down in the dumps, this can help them, and I can be happy.

Cheers!

For all the things that you have given,
for all that you have been,
for all the life lessons you've taught, and experiences you've shared,
for the quiet pride,
for all the laughters (and sometimes tears),
for having faith in us and all our potential,
for bringing us forth to the world,
for raising us in the best possible way,
for wanting only what's best for us,
for all your witty "parable jokes",
for treating us like princesses,
and for staying true, loving, and loyal to your one and only Queen.

On your birthday, we only have one wish for you,
that all your wishes will be granted.

We love you, Papsie!:)

thank heavens v-day is over!

Last Monday, I was suffocated with red and pink frills all over the mall - not to mention all the cheesy music playing in the background. Everywhere I look, I see couples with fluff and frills, and love written all over them. These people who have joined in the bandwagon in supporting, or rather, celebrating the highly commercialized day are disgusting to look at. And yet I kept on looking. And somewhere in the deepest recesses of my almost-jaded self, I felt the slightest tinge of envy.

It was depressing to be drowned in such a state. 

It is quite ironic now since some years ago, I used to be a big fan of Valentines day and all things associated with cheesy, romantic, and mushy. I wrote poems and stories about love and happy ever after. Now all those are merely things of the past. If I want to be truly happy, I need some serious cognitive re-engineering and convince myself that I am not one of those pitiful creatures. My explicit attitudes towards mushy, romantic thingamajiggy may have changed, but the deeper, more profound implicit attitudes are quite difficult to alter. I am still one of those pathetic creatures hoping one day they'd get their first bouquet, first box of chocolates, first surprise romantic date...

I've been telling myself if I really want to be happy and satisfied with my life right now, I should start accepting the fact that these roses, chocolates, love notes and sweet nothings will never come anytime soon - unless I take another path. In most of the choices we make, there are always trade offs. I'm just quite sad, all my high school girl's fantasies had to be the trade off for the life I have now. 

I'm generally happy but I think my life now kind of lacks the sparks, the excitement, the euphoria that characterizes one's twenty-something years. I most definitely have the cake - dark, moist, rich, and filling - but perhaps what's missing is the icing. I guess we can't have it all after all. 

Welcom to the Fine City

01/14/11

I woke up at 4AM, took a shower and put on my favorite tank top and my sister's fuchsia hoodie. The day before was spent making lecture notes for my classes, and three sets of test questions for the students' midterm exams. Yes, that was supposed to burn me out, but no - I was energized and upbeat (think Energizer bunny energized). I was about to have one big adventure that I'll remember for life.

My family drove me and my cool aunt to the airport. An hour and a half from boarding time, we were all set. Destination: Singapore.

It was the first time that my aunt and I got to travel abroad so we were pretty excited. We got to Changi Airport 20 minutes before the ETA so with the Energizer bunny's energy and Dora the explorer's spirit, we were ready to explore Singapore! We took a bunch of street maps from the airport and headed out. With nothing but our cousin's home address, we took a teksi (the ordinary one) and told friendly Mr. Cabby where we wanted to go - and he brought us there after entertaining us along the way.

We took the lift going up to the tenth floor and just as we were going out of the elevator, we knew at once that the door right across was our place - the air was thick with the aroma of adobo. YUM!

After having a hearty lunch prepared by our hosts for our four-day vacation, the Li family, and after being told where to go and which trains to take (by that time, nothing really sinked in and I just nodded and pretended that I understood what they were saying), we headed out to the train station to get a local sim card and MRT cards. And we were by ourselves.

I sure felt like a pre-schooler - curious and excited. We asked for people directions and Singaporeans proved to be a really helpful & friendly bunch. We made our way to Snow City with little trouble. In the Philippines, it's summer all year long so it was a really refreshing idea to get to experience snow, or a least what it felt like to be in the snow. It was FREEZING! despite wearing demin jeans and double sweaters, the chill still permeated and felt like needles. But I could care less about the pain  - it was fun playing in the artificial snow, tubing and all.

After Snow City and taking snaps from the Science Center, we headed towards one of the busiest centers in Singapore, Chinatown! This time it was much busier with the upcoming Chinese New Year. Everywhere you see red and gold, which symbolizes wealth and good fortune! The Chinese are blessed with a very rich Culture indeed. Not only that, if you're looking for bargain and cheap souvenirs, this is the place to go. You have to buy in bulk, though. But if you come from a highly collective community such as the Philippines this is a great place since many people from back home will be expecting pasalubongs, or souvenirs, even if you only went out of the country for few days. :) We scoured the place for more goodies to buy and sights to capture when we came into one interesting spectacle. Right in the middle of Chinatown stood a golden Hindu temple. It had a tower-like decor filled with their Hindu gods. It was such an awesome sight to behold! And take note, it stood in the middle of the very busy business and merriment town. So I guess you don't really need total silence to commune with your God - for as long as the heart is there. 

After cheap shopping, we decided it was time to let our eyes feast on the more luxurious strip of shopping centers. Destination: Orchard Road. With the help of our EZ Link cards, we got there fast and without breaking a sweat. We posed outside the big labels like Prada, Dior, Armani, & LV. Never even bothered to queue to go in those classy shops. Those shops intimidated me for a bit, to be honest - I felt like a rifraf. But anyhow, it was a nice experience to see nice shops - a reminder that if I work hard enough, it won't be long until those shops would no longer intimidate me. :) When we met my aunt's friend, Richard, we had our first gastronomic experience in Singapore. He bought us dinner and introduced to us one of  SG's staples, chicken rice. Delicioso!

After dinner, we did some more shopping. I bought ballet flats for me and my sister at a discounted rate of S$30, which isn't bad at all. For those of you who plan to shop at Singapore, be sure to present your passport prior to purchasing your goods so you can avail of tax-exemption and enjoy tax-free shopping. Take note that most shops usually require a minimum of S$100 single receipt so be sure to check with the guest services what their procedure is. We were not aware of this and so we weren't able to enjoy the 7% off GST. :( After shopping, we took the train back to Yishun and walked from the train station going back to our cousin's flat. Take note, we were walking on the street at around 12 midnight, but we felt safe. It's a welcomed change. Back home, we would never dare walk out in the dark! 

When we got home, I felt satisfied and happy. Our day one, which was started around 2 in the afternoon, felt like a looooong day, and we could feel the adventure in our bodies. Pama-ul galore! 

Fundamental Attribution Error

Have you ever experienced being reunited with a good friend after months and months of separation? Exciting, right? That is exactly how I felt when I was given the chance to meet up with a friend I used to hang-out with a lot. The excitement lasted until we got talking, and then even more talking--when  realized I do not know the person anymore.

We used to share stories, experiences, ups and downs, and so much more back in the days when our hairs were silk-straight and parted evenly in the middle. Back then, I knew she had a problem with people but she was my friend, and so I accepted her and loved her in spite of everything. I often found myself defending her from people who could not understand her eccentricities. It is a known fact that she was never really the people person but I totally got where she was coming from before and thought she was okay. But now, after hearing her say this and that about things made me wonder why we ever became friends back then when she was the epitome of the person I would most likely avoid now--the selfish, demanding, cynical, ego-depleting, fun-sucking, hope-crushing toxic people Positive Psychologists warned me about.

The ice cream we shared that afternoon left a bitter taste in my mouth. Has she changed THAT much within the times we were apart? Or was it I who changed?

I feel very ambivalent. If, indeed, it was she who has changed then I feel so sorry for her that even after all these years, her vision remains myopic and self-centered. I thought the years of education has somehow helped her broaden her horizon a little, like it did mine. Apparently, it didn't. On the other hand, if it is I who changed, then I can say that I might have done justice, after all, to the taxpayers who subsidized my education. But still, I shiver at the possibility that I used to be exactly like her...and I just grew out of it while she remained stuck in that phase. Gosh, did I use to be this appalling before too? Shame.

I used to be quite judgmental and sometimes I think i still am BUT I'm most definitely sure this has been toned down. I was so much worse before. I'm not sure if this commentary has anything to do with me still possessing that trait (which was triggered by the conversation) or we had just been apart for so long to the point that we have grown apart. Maybe it's me, or maybe she has really changed dramatically in a negative way.

Or perhaps, she just had a very bad day.

bucket list for 2011

The year 2010 had been a great year, and 2011 will be so much better! This bucket list will help me rock 2011. Yes, things don't always go exactly how you planned them to be, as plans may be malleable, but it is always good to have one than none at all. If by chance you lose your way, your plans would help you get back on track. So here are the things I wish to get, fulfill, and achieve in 2011.

1. Travel - locally and internationally. This year I am setting my eyes on Singapore (of which i already have tickets to. Yay!) and Hong Kong. And of course, I have a longer list of places to go to in the Philippines. After all, it would be such a shame to travel a lot abroad without even seeing and tasting what my own precious Pilipinas has to offer. So this year, my local trips should include: Bantayan, Cagayan de Oro, Siargao, Davao and Siquijor. Of course, the thrills like white-water rafting, bungee jumping, and zip-lining, that are found in the places I want to go to are included in my list. 
2. Skills. Improving oneself should never be off anyone's bucket list. This year, I have to be physically, cognitively and emotionally prepared to do the following: blogging (whoa, I guess this should be off my list now), surfing, and ballroom dancing!
3. Languages. One of the things that is vital to our survival is communication, and knowing more than necessary has never been so bad. To enhance my English speaking skills, I'm planning to join Toastmasters club with a co-teacher. I am hopeful that I will have the time and money to join their regular meetings to improve and polish my English. This year, to enrich my new passion for Special Education, I have decided to master at least the basics in Braille and the American Sign Language. I've already sort of started learning late last year with a classmate in grad school. Hopefully this year we would be more serious and dedicated about this and learn a lot more than we did last year.
4. Grad school apps. Right now, I am sort of side-tracking from my original field of interest which is Psychology. I am taking up another major for my Master's degree. I had a lot of things in mind when I applied for this program and so now that I am almost done with it, I would have to go back to my first choice. I would need to look into my options here and abroad for Psych MA degrees. In line with this, I was supposed to take the TOEFL & GRE last year but because of the many surprises last year, I had to postpone it indefinitely and hopefully this year I would really have the time to prepare and take them.
5. Fitness. I will go back to jogging twice a week and lifting not-so-heavy weights, not even to lose weight but just so I would have not be so sedentary and develop all these lifestyle illnesses, which can be avoided with just a little sweating. In addition, I also aim of participating in at least three running events...even though what I do is mostly just jog and walk. :)
6. Volunteer work. A former college batch mate of mine who studied Political Science now works in an NGO and late last year, he asked me if I wanted to do some volunteer work with the kids and the women. I never really heard from him. I will make sure that I will bugger him for details so that before the end of the first quarter of this year, I could start serving and giving back to the community that helped shape me into the person I am today.
7. Life's little pleasures. Ever since I graduated, I had always dreamed of getting a class ring but two years after switching my sablay in the opposite direction, that still has not happened. And so, despite all my travel plans, I hope to still spare extra moolah to get my class ring at the end of the year.
8. Extra job & save. My list looks very ambitious, even to me. One way it can be realistic is if I have the funding I need to make all these possible. I am already very blessed with my job now...but it would not hurt to moonlight (maybe home-based/part time) to help in paying the bills. :)

With a bucket list full of ideas and hopes, a sound mind and a relatively able body, I shall conquer 2011 with a smile in my face!:)